iNever Knew That
by osnapitzali
Summary: When the MTV show "If You Really Knew Me" comes to Ridgeway, Freddie and Sam share a connection as they find that they have similar problems going on with them. Told in Freddie's Point of View!
1. Chapter 1 : Confessions

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything iCarly accept my fics.**

**Spoilers: None.**

**A/N: So, one of my new favorite shows is If I Really Knew You. It premiered on MTV on Tuesday, and has new episodes every Tuesday as well. It's basically about people coming to schools and challenging the teens in a high school to confess things about their lives and finding out that people in other cliques share similarities with them. It teaches students not to judge people based on rumors or appearances. **

**I started thinking : what would happen if Freddie had this opportunity to get into Sam's mind. Would he start feeling something. So, I made this fic about how their school gets a visit from the TV show. I'll admit, the first part can be boring if all you want is Freddie's reaction to Sam's story and vice versa. So, feel free to skip. Thanks so much and enjoyy!**

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iNever Knew That

The rumors of what this "Challenge Day" was circled like wild fire, each rumor having its own twist. I've heard that it was a day where everyone cries and shares their feelings. Personally, I would rather not burst into tears over whatever tortured soul is supposedly under my skin. But then again, no one could know for sure if this was actually true. The only thing certain was that Challenge Day was going to be filmed for some knew MTV series "If You Really Knew Me".

"So, what do you think this Challenge Day is gonna be all about?" Carly asked me one day in the hallway.

"I really don't know, but I can't say that I care," I replied.

"Why? It's supposed to be something about making the different cliques at school bond and ending racism and all that kind of stuff," Carly pointed out.

"Just because Ridgeway has its cliques doesn't mean a tremendous amount of 'opening up' is going to happen, much less change anything," I replied.

"Well, change can be a good thing," she reassured me with a nod.

"Oh, come on, do you really think some like…Sam is going to have anything to open up to or confess?" I pointed out.

"When I said change was a good thing, I also meant that everyone is capable of it. I've heard that even the most stubborn people really opened up in other schools," she added.

"Well, I can't exactly imagine a hard life beneath Sam. She constantly hurts everyone physically and emotionally, especially me!"

"Are you sure you're not just making that assumption because of your personal experiences with Sam?" Carly asked accusingly.

"I'm positive! And, it's not so much the fact that she hurts me, but the fact that she laughs about it afterwards…"

"Oh, whatever. I have to get to class anyway," Carly said as she walked off in front of me.

OK, so maybe I was putting some of my…personal opinion of Sam in my opinion of the whole Challenge Day thing. But, do you really think that someone like Sam would take confessing to feelings and being sincere seriously? She can barely keep herself together when trying not to make fun of me! I'll take it seriously, I'm just not expecting much change.

* * *

The big day finally came. Directly after homeroom, we all were to report to the gym for Challenge Day to begin. After we got out of homeroom, I caught up with Sam and Carly as we walked.

"Hey, guys," I said as I slowed to their pace.

"Hey," Carly replied.

"So, what do _you _think will go on in this whole "experience"?" Sam asked.

Before I even got the chance to answer, Carly said, "He thinks it's a huge waste of time that no one will benefit from."

"Hey! I never said that. I said I thought that some people weren't exactly going to open up, and I would be surprised if it didn't exactly work out," I explained.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm willing to give it a try," Carly said happily Justas we reached the gym door.

_Here goes everything _I thought.

* * *

The first thing they had us do once we got to the gym was get our name tags and what group we were in. Carly got group 2, and with my wonderful luck, Sam and I got group 5….the same group.

The next thing we did was sit in one of the chairs put out. The chairs were all in a giant circle that surrounded the entire gym.

When the people in charge of Challenge Day came out, the talked for a little bit before getting us to actually participate in anything. All they did was talk about "stepping out" of you comfort zone and letting others see what goes on in your mind. After that, one of the hosts told a sob story about how his home life was full of nothing but addict parents and growing up alone. I have to say, it was brave of that guy to tell his story to all of us, but I seriously doubted that any of us students would be confessing anything like that.

The first thing they had us do was play a few games to kind of get comfortable, but nothing interesting happened there. The real interesting part started when they had us start confessing. We all got into our small groups and faced each other in a circle. My group had me, Sam, someone in band, a basketball player, and some chick with more eyeliner than hair on her head.

"Now everyone," one of the hosts said, "I want you all to just close your eyes and think for a few moments. Everyone in this world wants us to be a certain way or judges us a certain way. However, right now I want you to think about what it's like to be the real you. Maybe you have family problems you don't let show. Maybe you don't have many friends. Maybe others are mean to you at school and pick on you. Or, maybe, you just aren't accepted for being your real self."

I actually did do this part in my mind. It's like I said before: I'll take it seriously and try it, but I won't expect anything out of it.

"Now, everyone, open your eyes. Look at the people around you, and imagine just for a moment that they may be going through some of the same things as you. Answer this question, 'If you really knew me, this is what you would know'. You may begin."

Our group was quiet for the longest time, everyone fiddling with their thumbs and keeping to themselves. Eventually, the basketball player started talking.

"If you really knew me," he said, "you'd know that my life isn't exactly as perfect as all the other jocks and cheerleaders may seem to have it. My parents actually just got divorced, and my dad moved out of state. When I last tried calling him, it said that his cell phone had been disconnected." Right about now, he actually started breaking into a few tears. "Whenever I ask where he went, I don't get an answer. Whether those people know or don't, I can't help but feel their breakup was somewhat my fault."

At this point, he was now crying into the Band Geek's shoulder…something I never thought I'd ever see. Just then, I saw something else I never thought I'd see. Sam said, "It's OK dude, we all got parent problems."

Things got quiet again after this, but everyone was determined not to talk. Somewhere in that time, I decided _What the hell, I'll go for it._

As soon as I started talking, I got attention from everyone. "If you really knew me, you'd know that my experiences at home and at school are the furthest things from perfect. My dad died before I was born, so my mom takes extra precautions to make sure I stay ok. I always try my best to please her, but I never feel like that is quite enough. She pushes me to stay out of trouble, get good grades, and make lots of friends. But, pressure doesn't exactly help with all that. I can stay out of trouble or not, yet I either am labeled a 'sissy' or risk disappointing her. I can get good grades or not, but then I'm either labeled a nerd or I break her heart. I try and make as many friends as possible, but that's hard with being labeled things like a sissy, a nerd, and it's just plain hard with the bullying that goes on at school…even from the people closest to you." As I finished my story, I looked over to see Sam looking at me, then quickly look down as if shamed.

At this point, everyone except Sam hugged me and told me things would be alright. Once again, we all fell into silence for a while until Sam spoke up with her story.

"If you really knew me, you'd know that I'm not nearly as strong as I look. I pick on people. I hurt them. I do anything to give myself a laugh, even at the cost of others, but that is only to hide what really goes on in my mind. My dad left when I was a baby, and my mom has problems with drugs and all that crap. All she does is lie in bed with the curtains drawn, popping pills to make whatever pain she has go away. Occasionally she goes to work, but she misses so much from being high so often, that she gets fired and switches jobs like crazy. I try to push it all to the back of my mind, but I never can. I can't help but think that, if I hadn't come along, my dad would still be here and my mom would have never started on the pills. I can't help but think that the people would be better off without my constant bullying and hurting and teasing. I hate myself for it all. I get really depressed, and I've actually attempted suicide before…but when the time came I just couldn't bring myself to do it."

This is the first time I ever saw Sam in tears…or saw the real Sam.

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**Well, I hoped you liked it! Please remember to review and alert! Also, check out If You Really Knew Me on Tuesday Nights on MTV. I believe its 11/10c but don't quote me on that! Anyway, peace!**

**~Psycheer330~**


	2. Chapter 2 : Ponders

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything iCarly except my stories!**

**Spoilers: None**

**A/N: Some people asked for it, so I decided to continue the story a bit longer. Thanks so much for the support! Hope you like it! OH! and I forgot to mention this in the last chapter: Freddie's point of view!**

**Enjoy!**

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I didn't really think about what happened the rest of that time. _Sam _thinking about _suicide_? That's just not right.

After we were all walking out of the gym, it seemed as if everyone was either hugging someone else they never even talked to, or walking alone and looking down. Behind me, I saw Carly hugging someone I didn't recognize. A few yards in front of me, I saw Sam walking just like a few other people: looking depressed and walking slowly with her head down.

At first I hesitated, but eventually I said, "Sam!" and tried to catch up to her.

She turned around with a blank expression on her face, simply said, "Hey," and quickly turned back around as if ashamed about something.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I walked next her.

She turned to face me while walking backwards in front of me and said, "I just admitted to a group of people who I don't even know that I'm mean for no reason, and I want to shoot myself on a daily basis. How do you _think _I feel?" She sounded kind of annoyed.

"OK, I was just wondering why you were walking around like you were depressed. That's all."

"I'm not depressed. I'm just nervous and paranoid and…"

"Ashamed?" I threw in.

"I wasn't gonna use that word directly, but yeah," she answered, turning to walk forward again.

"Why would you be ashamed?" I asked.

"Oh, come _on_. How many other people in this school do you think have actually brought a gun to their head and seriously contemplated pulling it? Huh?"

"Maybe not that exact story, but lots of people have thought about suicide…"

"Oh yeah? Like who?" she said as she began walking faster in front of me.

"Like me," I called out.

She stopped dead in her tracks as I caught up to her.

"Then why didn't I hear that in your little 'confession'?" she asked.

"…because it wasn't that serious in my case," I answered blankly.

"What happened?" she asked as she turned to me and crossed her arms.

"I just got…tired of all the crap I take and thought it'd be better if I were just….gone," I explained.

"Crap from me…." she angrily summarized and walked off again.

"Not completely…"

She turned to face me again, "But, yes. From me….."

I couldn't lie and say no. She already knew that she had a big part in it.

She almost looked as if she were about to cry and angrily said, "That's exactly why I thought of it! If I were to just be gone, then you would never think of doing something like that. If I were gone, people would get hurt…inside or out…"

"If it makes you so upset, then why do you do it?" I asked as I walked closer to her.

"…..because I'll do anything to laugh or make myself feel better than I do, but I always end up feeling worse…"

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**Hope you liked it! Please read, review, and alert! Also, remember that If You Really Knew Me comes on on MTV on Tuesday nights! (still don't know the times, but I'll check on that).**

**~Psycheer330~**


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